30 Day Proverbs Challenge: Day 12

Welcome to Pray! you whore, a blog, that takes you on my personal journey of repentance, reconciliation, and redemption. I have always known I had a calling on my life and certain spiritual gifts. However, I always chose to run until I could not run anymore. At my baptism , it felt so good to hear that the Lord told him "I was worth the wait" and it felt so good to know that my Daddy God was not mad at me. Instead I had to gain an understanding heart, a understanding of God's word, and an understanding of unconditional love. Proverbs 20:28 "Unfailing love and faithfulness protect the king; his throne is made secure through love." Thank you Lord for loving me unconditionally and never taking your hand off of me!

When I was younger I had an encounter with spirit that I still cannot explain. I was able to tap into a higher frequency and energy that allowed me to think something and it would appear. I didn't ask for much but I had a very blessed and gifted childhood where struggle and suffering was very rare. I was always very happy, sensitive to feelings and always attracted to leadership roles. The best way I can explain is using Proverbs 20:11-12 which says "Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure, and whether it is right. Ears to hear and eyes to see— both are gifts from the Lord." I just knew things before they would happen or I could feel the emotions or energy shift in a room very easily.

I never felt safe expressing my experiences but even today I feel that was God protecting me. Personally, I don't believe that I was around the right people to interpret or cultivate my gifts. Whether I was wrong or right doesn't matter but I possessed an innate wisdom that I now understand was the Holy Spirit and between God and I to cultivate. As I read Proverbs 20:5 "Though good advice lies deep within the heart,
a person with understanding will draw it out.," this revealed to me that Gods timing is always right. I stepped into New Age philosophy because that was the only thing I saw similar to my thinking and understanding of the world, health and wealth. I poured my self into the idea of self healing because I needed healing but so did so many others around me.

My gifts never left me but they were dulled and often perverted because I was not being led by God. I fell into smoking marijuana heavily because it captured a level of elevation of the mind and spirit that I was used to feeling all my life. Today this is very common to come through the back door into the spiritual realm because you crave sensationalism and feelings. In Proverbs 20:1 "Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise," due to alcoholism and psychedelics I craved synthetic feelings. I was so obsessed with power and healing that I kept running to my own back door devices because my heart was hardened, sick, and numb. Now I understand that I was craving the Holy Spirit and God! I thought I discovered a loophole but it led to pain and self destructive behavior and habits.

The truth is I had fallen just like Satan, Lucifer and the fallen angels. I was using and abusing my actual authority because I had fallen for a counterfeit. I was taking bad advice and falling for false doctrine and false consumption. The truth will set you free and I no longer live in bondage and slavery but freedom. I now walk with the Lord daily and abide with the Holy Spirit because I have returned legally to Christ. Now I understand Proverbs 20:24 "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" There's a reason for hierarchy. God is always the winner so why play on the losing team or even entertain something less than being a child of God. We have power in our DNA but you must submit to the actual healer and source of all goodness to receive what is good. We must continue to vibrate higher with the Lord, Jesus Christ (Yeshua), align ourselves with truth, and return to unconditional love with our Heavenly Father, God!

xoxo KISS (Keep it Simple & Sanctified)