An Apology to my Exes

Dear Exes,

I am so sorry that I was not the Woman of God when we met. I may have never meet you if I was. Now that we are here I love you and always will love you. The experiences have taught me so much about myself. You taught me where I was still broken in my life, where I had settled for less and where I was misdirected in life. I use to say things like " I never want to get married", "marriage doesn't last anymore", "you cant trust anyone". I was speaking from the broken hearted little girl who watched my parents divorce yet never expressed the pain I felt.

I am so sorry that I casted my pearls to swine. (“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6) I let you take my love for granted and dim my light because I fell in love with your potential. I put my hope in man instead of my Heavenly Father. I let the abandoned little girl do anything for acceptance because I couldn't deal with my own Daddy issues. I felt abandoned so when you spoke your lies to me I believed them. No man in my life had shown me that word was bond. I let the abuse slide, disappointment and grief blind me from the lies you spoke over and over. I never wanted you to feel the rejection I felt over and over.

I kept falling for what you could be or might be because the little girl in me just wanted my Dad to read me a bedtime story. The only man that has never broken his word, is Jesus, in my life. The only man that has never went back on his word is my Heavenly Father. I am so sorry that it took such wrong suffering for me to realize my worthiness and purity. I am sorry Lord that I didn't trust you to provide for me. I apologize for not reading Proverbs 31 before I got into a relationship.

I am so sorry that I was running from the pain, the trauma and addiction that lies in me and my bloodline. I took it out on you and I never meant for it to get this far. I never wanted to be a murderer or a whore having bastards that was not my intention as a Christian. Maturity has shown me the consequences of sin. I write today that I repent for fornication, sexual immorality, abortion, perversion, addiction, shame, fear, abuse and pride in my relationships. I carried yours and mine and I still pray for you today, my love.

I acknowledge my transgressions and iniquities on the bloodline that has become ours and plead the blood of Jesus to bring us redemption. I thank you for my beautiful sons that show me redemption is real and possible with God. Thank you for giving me a new life in Christ and the opportunity to marry my kingdom spouse. I get the opportunity to raise two men of God, repair the bloodline and I will not backslide again. I understand now the treasures and knowledge of the Word of God. Thank you for never abandoning me but loving me unconditionally.

xoxo KISS(Keep it Simple & Sanctified)