The Curse of Relationships

Welcome to Pray! you whore, a blog, that takes you on my personal journey of repentance, reconciliation, and redemption. This post will take you down my inner healing journey and the cycle that I had to break. My goal is to focus on how narcissistic people attract empaths. Now looking back I have been both characters in my life but my experiences has helped build my testimony. So lets begin by saying that I love who I am and who I am becoming. Most of us run away from the becoming and justify our own bad behaviors because we are comfortable in them. However, being in a relationship challenges every idea and trauma you may have encountered in life. The goal of a relationship is to become your best version of yourself through love. Love contains many things like ; compassion, grace, mercy, forgiveness, gentleness and kindness. Many of these terms sound good buyt are not often practiced daily or ever when it comes to being in a relationship. They say first marriages dissolve about 43% of the time and second and third marriages end about 73% of the time.

If you are a narcissist, you tend to be on the intellect and logical minded side of things. Which is why I do not condemn but understand why the narcissist would be afraid of commitment because statistically speaking you will fail. I also understand why they target empathic people to marry or get in a relationship with because they have a better chance at controlling them through lack of vulnerability and emotional connection. However, I must remind us that we are often in spiritual warfare even when we are too ignorant to acknowledge it through our own intellect. In 2 Corinthians 10:4 it says " The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds" another verse that proves we are often not fighting things seen but unseen. Read Ephesians 6:12 says " For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Let me remind you that we are in a spiritual war and the devil is a legalist. Remember these two things as we discuss the strategy of the enemy to break apart legal covenants with confusion, doubt and frustration. Many get divorced because of the following reasons: lack of commitment, arguing and conflict, incompatibility, infidelity and money. I bring these topics up to point out that these are all external conflicts yet the real issue usually lies within our own trauma, childhood and identity crisis. God truly gives us one simple job and that is found in Genesis 1:28 " God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it." Simply put get married and have children and take over the world together with love and light and be the example you want for your children and the future generations. Most of us are a a product of divorced parents or a single parent household and have no understanding of how this has affected us internally. We often run away or avoid the things that hurt us.

Atleast, I will speak for myself and say the trauma and pain that divorce did to me was long lasting. However, I had to grow up and heal or I will continue to repeat the cycles. I had to make a choice to follow what God says about relationships, not what the world says or even what my parents say. I realized that hurt people hurt people and the only way to overcome my addiction to pain was to set healthy boundaries. The next thing was to learn wisdom and heal my own self worth and rebuild my own foundation. Most people don't realize how damaged and how much unresolved trauma you have until you are in a relationship. There is no perfect relationship but there is one truth that I rely on and that is a relationship without God will never work. This is why the enemy attacks marriages because if they tar the parents apart the children are no longer under covenant and protected.

Many years went by where I had no idea why certain things were happening to me from sexual abuse to domestic abuse. From people unwilling to commit to me and the infidelity that always seemed to creep in my relationships. Even the loss of friendship, jealousy and envy that followed the relationships is sometimes unbearable but this is the strategy of the enemy. The enemy loves to sow doubt, division, deception and illusion to get you confused about Gods truth and your own identity in Christ. The devil uses the same strategy from Adam and Eve, King Saul and David to Jesus in the wilderness. We must learn the truth and apply the knowledge given to us in God's will, a legal document, that states all of our rights. I did not know my rights neither did my parents and so I had to fight on my own.

The enemy used my loneliness and longing for family to try and kill my courage to love. Instead I have decided to let the curses bring me closer to my Daddy God who wants and knows what is best for me. In Colossians 3: 12 " Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." I now no longer have the desire to please man but God and I trust in the Lord daily to give me the strength to endure and remain steadfast because that is the only way. I am aware of the enemy's strategy and I refuse to fall into the trap and in fear because I have the ability to overcome all. I walk in spiritual authority on my own and even more in relationships because I am now walking in authority on behalf of my children and bloodline.

God never gives us more than we can handle but we often make bad decisions and blame God. God has already put the bumpers up on the bowling alley so we can always hit the pins. We just need to read the Bible and his legal will for our lives so we walk in wisdom and understanding. I have had to repent for my transgressions, iniquities and infirmities that has opened doors to the enemy. I had to learn to forgive myself so that I can forgive others and walk in the love and healing the Lord has chosen for me. In Colossians 3:13-14 he reminds us to " Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in unity."

Life is not about what happens to you but for you and we must learn to walk in God's will not our own. This is what I have learned from the curse of relationships in my life. The experiences have only made me fall closer to my Lord and Savior. I now walk in my true identity in Christ and share my stories to glorify God in all that I do. Most marriages fail because they forget who the Lord is. He is mine and your Jehovah Jireh, my provider, in all things. God is the only one who can confirm your value and purpose, not a marriage or a relationship. I had to move from a "good" thing to a "God" thing and that is where I am happily residing. I am now asking God's will be done in my life and enjoying the process of "becoming" what God has called me to be solo and in marriage. I am here because I am strong with pure intentions. I am the light that pierces the darkness and the true example of healthy boundaries and self respect.

Xoxo KISS (Keep It Simple & Sanctified)