The Spot vs The Other Spot

Welcome to Pray! you whore, a blog, that takes you on my personal journey of repentance, reconciliation, and redemption. I am writing to confirm that the journey you are on is all a part of a bigger plan... God's plan! Many of us struggle with surrender because of our own trauma and feeling of instability. Atleast, I can speak form my own experience that I have struggled with the spirit of Leviathan in my relationships and personally. The spirit of Leviathan is not easy to get rid of and is sometimes a strategy the devil uses to keep us in bondage. The truth is that we are free as children of God by faith we are saved not by our works and deeds. Ephesians 2:8-9 " For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." I had to learn to let go and let God and trust that what God was doing was for me not to me.

This is a deep reference to my children's father because out of sexual immorality I birthed both of my beautiful boys. I do not have shame around how the Lord chose to redeem me and transform me. However, I share my testimony so that you understand that you are still worthy and have nothing to prove. As it says in Ephesians 2:3 says " All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest we were by nature deserving of wrath." We deserve God's wrath because of our disobedience and willingness to sin without conviction. The spot represented who I was unapologetically lost and trying to find who Briana Jordan was in this world. The truth is God used heartbreak, abandonment and rejection in my favor to bring me closer to him. Psalms 34:18 proves "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I chose to mature and put my selfish desires and ways to the side because I had a son to raise. I started to pray more and seek God more because he was all I had most times. Now I look back and thank God for saving me from staying in the Spot but allowing the Spot to propel me into a deeper and more honorable relationship with him. Now it was not easy and I still chose to live in rebellion as I tried to determine who I was and what I wanted to be. I continued to make bad decisions out of survival because I still had not surrendered to the Lord. My ability to trust others was constantly shaken and destroyed and it became extremely hard to see my true identity was always in Christ. Like Ephesian 2:10 reminds us " For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." I learned during this time of pain that "The Spot" was only here to teach me how to let go of my ego and find ways to always be the bigger person. I found my true gifts were in health, wellness and in my ability to lead and encourage.

I learned that I was selfish and blocking my blessings because I chose to do things my own way instead of God's way. Finally. I could see how the spirit of fear, pride and lust had led me farther away from my God given purpose. Then I came upon the next test of elevation "The Other Spot" where I got to see my growth but also where healing, transformation and restoration was still needed in my life. I call "The Other Spot" the process of maturity in Christ because I came to see all of the impurities that still remain in me. Yet I still received the love and support that I deserved to have. I now see how my pride has had to be brought into humility. My rebellion and stubbornness is only perpetuating anger and frustration. When God has called me to be set apart in this season of my life to walk out maturity in Christ. I had to come to my Ephesians 4:13 moment stating "until we all reach unity in the faith of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." I was relying on self instead of my Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior and Jehovah Jireh, our provider.

The Other Spot has brought me back to full reliance in Jesus Christ. I was able to bring another son into this world by the grace and God's redemption in my life. I will not continue to be disobedient and rebellious but I will share my testimony and bring others to God, as that is our one true purpose. Romans 1:5 says " Through him we received grace and apostleship to call all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith for his names sake." I live for the Lord wholeheartedly and I am learning to trust in him wholeheartedly because that is the only way I will become whole. As I rededicated my life to Christ through baptism, began to read God's Word for myself and intercede in prayer for others and myself. I saw the power of God firsthand when my partner and I began to go to church together and get baptized. Only God can change people and that is the difference between the spots.

The Spot was a good thing and brought about a wisdom and understanding of self that I needed to undergo to get where I am today. The Other Spot was a "God" thing that I cannot deny or doubt because it is rooted in faith. So if you are in a relationship or situationship that seems to burden you and reveal all your wickedness. Turn the relationship to the Lord and allow him to deliver you and them. You will have victory in the end if you keep your faith in the truth, Gods Word and in the Lord, our savior. Isaiah 27:1 confirms that the Lord will defeat the spirit of Leviathan " In that day, the Lord will punish with his sword-his fierce, great and powerful sword-Leviathan the gliding serpent, Leviathan the coiling serpent; he will slay the monster of the sea." All you need to do is surrender all burdens, anxieties and worries to the Lord. You do not have the authority to change people but the Lord is our righteous judge. You continue being the light in the darkness and be still and know that you are in this spot for a reason.

Xoxo KISS (Keep It Simple & Sanctified)